If your mind can conceive it then you can achieve it.

This is my least favorite inspirational quote. Everytime I hear someone say it I roll my eyes.

It should come with pages of postscripts

But you better be prepared to work your ass off. Believe in yourself when no one else will. Fall down, get up, fall down harder and get back up. You better be thick skinned. Have back up plan to your back plan. Be prepared to sleep less and worry more. You will have to compromis and improvise. Know that part of succeeding is failing. It never happens over night. You will cry. Be prepared to feel anxiety worse than any monster under the bed childhood nightmares. Be prepared to think life sucks. Be pepared to want to lay in the bed all morning and just give up…but that vision never dies for some of us. We get up the next day and try again and begin again, again and again.




I’ve been following the NY Times article ‘Wrought in Rhimes Image’ by Alessandra Stanely and her classifying Rhimes and her black female characters as ‘angry black women’. Honestly, I’m a huge fan Rhimes because she is in the place I would love to be and she hasn’t let excuses hinder her writing. I could be jealous but I’m not, I’m proud.

I’m no huge fan of Olivia Pope because I feel she’s milestones away from being ‘an angry black woman’ and just a big cry baby. Every time I tune in her lips are trembling and she is about to have yet another crying moment, complicated she is, torn, yes but angry, no.

Stanley did the automatic stereotypical dismissal of black women in Rhimes show  by throwing that tag out like it was fact. I honestly don’t believe she watches Rhimes characters. Maybe, she is the one who is jealous. Stanley article is largely dismissive of Rhimes as if she were not a real player in this game. I could be shocked but I’m not. Stanley sounds more threatened by Rhimes and her characters. She specifically took aim at a new character in the series How to Get Away with Murder (airs tonight on ABC)  played by Viola Davis as ‘less classically beautiful’. She described this dark skinned African woman as 1. the angry black woman and 2. less classically beautiful.

Quote:The actress doesn’t look at all like the typical star of a network drama,” Stanley wrote. “Ignoring the narrow beauty standards some African-American women are held to, Rhimes chose a performer who is older, darker-skinned and less classically beautiful than [Kerry Washington], or for that matter Halle Berry, who played an astronaut on the summer mini-series Extant.”

It almost sounds like a big high five then it doesn’t. When I think of classically beautiful, yes I may think of Kerry Washington but I also think of Viola Davis because she in her speech, in her demeanor, in her gracefulness DEFINES classically beautiful. Stanley is actually doing to black women what we have done to ourselves by publically acknowledging our definition of beauty being somewhat lighter skin with straighter hair. I’m happy there is backlash against this whole article that was nothing but undercurrent digs at not only Rhimes but black women.

I am proud that we are learning to define ourselves and start to tear down the walls of what is beautiful and the stereotype of the angry black woman.

Viola Davis



In my head Taraji and Idris are my around the way homies. Don’t they just seem the type you could spend a Friday night with talking trash and sipping on wine…or congnac? So for that I will just say their movie was just okay and that is being generous. There was very little suspense and a movie like this should have you jumping not rooting for Idris to kill her because her character is so silly that you just want to get home already. Who cares if the bad guy wins, its Idris for goodness sake!

I feel like I need to apologize to my girl Taraji for not loving her performance or that wig. I wanted to, I really did but there were far too many holes but I’m a sucker for supporting our actors so I’m not terribly upset I went. I did enjoy the ending and the popcorn and coke was….ooooooh so delicious. My cheat night for not eating right. Only for you Idris, only for you.

19 Days of Running

and I lost ONE pound. To say I’m a little frustrated is a drastic understatement. The scale budged from 140 pounds for a couple of hours on Friday and by the evening it was back up again. I’ve been eating better, cut out the cakes and the sodas and I feel as if I have nothing to show for it.

I’ve always been small so I never truly comprehended how people felt when they were contstantly dieting or exercising and not losing. I always felt as if they were lying about their workouts or binging at night.  Well, I’m not doing any of that so I’m truly feeling a bit disappointed and realize I will have to step up the regimin. Guess I’ll be adding more weights to burn the fat and push a little harder.

#feelingbummed but I’ll keep at it. I do love the sereness I feel when I’m running and the how beautifully strong my body feels but..



Tree Fell On My House: I ain’t Bothered




Today was a great day to sit by the water at Boston Wharf and simply enjoy the moment. I needed the refresh.

A tree fell on my house and car in August.  Actually, not the whole tree.  It split from the top and the top half of the tree fell on my car and front porch. Thing is, I never park my car in front of the house and for some reason I did this night. The police said had the car not been there the tree probably would have completely destroyed the front of my house. I could’ve been stressed but can’t be pissed at a tree.

My youngest son was hit from behind in the same car two weeks ago, he’s fine but the car is totaled. The car that saved my front porch is totaled. Thing is I’ve been wanting a new car and although the insurance said it was a lost I couldn’t let go. The estimate to get it fixed is a little over 3K. The car has only 113k miles on it. I’m getting it fixed and giving it to my oldest son. It worked out for both us. No sense in being stressed, still winning.

Home projects, looking for a new car, and adjusting to new and  constrained working conditions you’d think I’d feel stressed. Amazingly I’m not.  I’ve made the mental adjustment to deal with life as it comes. Good and bad things will happen and the only thing I can control is how I’m going to deal with it.

I found ignoring shit only makes bigger shit till the point I can’t breathe.
Dealing with shit as it comes with a bucket and some bleach makes me feel in control and less mentally cluttered and bothered. Keep smiling it always gets better.