Let not one opportunity escape from you. Say yes
I’ve been wanting to comment on violence in our community all summer. It seems like every week there is a new story on Monday morning about rampant gang shootings from the weekend; particularly in the city of Chicago, where one weekend over fifty people were shot. I can’t even fathom that kind of street war. It is hurtful to read. I can’t wrap my head around the reasons for gangs. I can’t wrap my head around the sense of utter disdain of oneself that the only way to feel important is to be a neighborhood terrorist. Yes, I understand that is simplistic in thought. I understand that there are many underlining factors but what I don’t understand is that we still have not gotten a hold of this. I don’t understand why gang members still are able to take down our streets. They don’t own shit yet in some areas we have let them take over.
This weekend we all were more than horrified and hurt when one year old Antiq Hennis was gunned down as his dad pushed him in his stroller.
It has been reported that the father was the intended victim and that the shooting is gang related. How must that father feel now? What lesson has he learned from this tragic murder of his child? He should be feeling like we do, when our innocent children are slain by stray bullets even though we have no connection to gang activities.
I want to say to this twenty-one year old father, do you see now what you do? Do you now understand the destruction, the hate, the devastation you and your gangs unleash on all of us? Would he even understand or feel any guilt? Is he out there in Brooklyn planning his drive-by where another child may be taken down? My heart breaks for the pain of the loss of a child but I cannot muster up much sympathy for Antiq Hennis’s dad, Anthony Hennis. I can only shake my head in total disgust and wonder if he is reaping what he sowed.
I want to say to little Antiq’s mom and all the other mothers who ‘date’ these gang members and then lost a child due to their violence, do you see what happens when you lay down with dogs? I know she is hurting and I hurt for her but the fact remains that she HAD a child with a gang member and karma can be a real bitch.
I’m tired of these neighborhood wannabe Scarface terrorist. We ARE better than these scabs and this bullshit affects all of us but it starts in our homes and communities first.
We have to depend on each other to stop this.
Please click on the link and read the comments.
No I didn’t. It just means I have to work harder.
Last week I had a few bumps in the road. Nothing worked out quite like I had envisioned in my head but I was pretty damn proud of the way I handled it. I chose not to look at the bumps as failures or even obstacles…I looked at them for just what they were, minor bumps. I let myself feel disappointed , worked on how I can do better and be better and I moved on from it. So this week the game plan hasn’t changed much but I’m going in more determined and jumping over any hurdles. I got this.
By appearance most people see me as secure, confident, and pretty much fearless. That is what people see but it is not who I am and I wonder how I was able to fool so many people.
I am fearful. I don’t meet every challenge in my life with a lion’s roar, unfortunately most often if I find something too hard I find a way to get out of it. I do what is necessary, of course but all the things I could have done I chose not to because of fear of failure. People don’t see that in me. I guess I live the other part of my life with such bravado that they don’t see the part in me that is empty. It really wouldn’t matter if they did because the only one disappointed in me is me.
It’s a horrible feeling looking back on things and seeing where you failed to be brave. No one else may know but I do.
I want to think I have changed or at least recognized that pitiful part of me that gets consumed by insecurity and hurts my soul. Today I made a list of three things I was afraid to do and I did them. At one point I started to make an excuse of why I couldn’t do one of them-I was tired, I could reschedule, or I could just not do it and lie and say I did but I didn’t do that. I felt the fear and did it anyway.
I didn’t make the loud sound of the conquering lion I want to be, maybe not even the annoying purr of a cat but I made some noise. I heard it.