When people show you who they are…

Believe them the first time. Maya Angelou said these words and I have tried very hard to live by them. I have failed many times however.

I once had a high school friend who stole from people. I knew she did and it didn’t bother me. I didn’t think she was necessarily a bad person. I even laughed about her thievery because it was sometimes directed at people I didn’t like…it didn’t affect me. We were close, she was the maid of honor at my wedding, she was the godmother to my first child, and she really was my confidante when my world was falling apart around me because of my separation and subsequent divorce.Then she stole from me. two hundred dollars my parents had sent me to help with bills. She helped me look all over the house for that two hundred dollars. It was my exasperated cousin who finally said “You know she stole that money.” I didn’t know but I did so I asked her straight out and she said no she didn’t. She didn’t speak to me again. Five years later I’m back on my feet and I see her again and we resume friendship but that question still lurked- Did she steal from me?” I asked her and she said she did. She’d stop speaking to me because she figured I already knew. I don’t know why she stole from people then but I have my suspicious now, twenty odd years later.

Her thievery should not have been a surprise to me all because she had stolen from people I knew, from stores, and from her own family. Countless times she had showed me who she was yet I believed that she would be different with me. I have since learned better so I always look at how people treat other people-the lies they tell others, the cruelty they may inflict on others, and the goodness too. People give you clues all the time of who they are it’s rarely ever ‘new behavior’ when they do something horrible, but we see what we want to see or only see how they behave with us.

Missing Boy's Parents: Stepmom Failed PolygraphsI’ve been following this story on Kyron Horman for the past month. Something about that snaggle tooth smile and those big glasses and his happy eyes brings tears to mine. Little children at this age are always so adorable in their pain in the butt, asking a million questions, breaking up your lawn furniture, building club houses out of boxes sort of way.

They are looking at the stepmom. Reading this story this morning I couldn’t help reading the same line, quoted from the dad, over and over…

“She has a deceitful side that I have experienced several times,” says Kaine. “As far as going to extremes with the plot, I didn’t see that coming at all.”

Maybe it will be proven it was not the stepmom, I hope for dad’s sake it isn’t because this is a much harder lesson to learn about someone’s behavior than stolen money.


Missing Boy’s Parents: Stepmom Failed Polygraphs – Crime & Courts, Kyron Horman : People.com.

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