Seriously! I love staying home from work but lounging on the couch catching up with the soaps and tv game shows is a thing of a very dissssssssssssssstant past.
I’ll be honest, I gave up on soap operas about ten years ago if not more. Seriously, how many times can you watch this storyline:
Jane loves Dick but Dick loves Emily. Jane gets Dick drunk and Dick passes out in Jane’s bed. Two days later Dick proposes to Emily and at their engagement party Jane rushes in and tells Dick she is pregnant with his baby-they actually never slept together when Dick passed out in Jane’s bed but Dick can’t remember. Emily tells Dick he must marry Jane for the baby’s sake, so Dick regretfully marries Jane. Jane thinks everything is gravy now that she has Dick in her bed and all she has to do now is get pregnant for real to keep him, until then she just fakes pregnant. Dick is still mourning Emily and Emily is still mourning Dick but they must stay away from each other. Now, its three weeks later and Jane is nine months pregnant and has to produce a baby or Dick will be gone forever. Luckily for Jane, Emily’s sister just had a baby six weeks ago. Jane schedules a business trip out of town-Dick begs her not to go since it is so close to her due date-but of course she does. She sneaks into Emily’s’ sister’s home kidnaps her baby and passes it off as her own for six months before anyone realizes that a. the baby was too big to be a newborn b. she never produced a birth certificate c. she claimed to have the baby in the woods delivered by a lumberjack name Paul who never materialized when Dick wanted to thank him for saving his wife and child. Oh, she also said it was a blizzard that day but looking back they realized it was July.
Now, the first time I saw that storyline in 1978 I was all OMG Jane is such a bitch and poor Dick will never get Emily! But around 1988 I got tired of rooting for Dick and Emily because Dick really is just a dick and Emily is a wuss. I’m really mad at Jane, because she is beautiful, smart, and runs her own lingerie company, so why does she not have enough self-esteem to tell Dick to go F himself! Chasing a man who does not love you is so 1967…well mayb so 2011 too but I don’t want to watch it year after year!
But just because I have given up on soaps does not mean I think they should become extinct because I’m actually afraid of what will replace them. Will there be more WHO THE BABY DADDY episodes on Maury? That is scary and I REALLY hope those shows are fake because the idea of Tawanna Jenkins fifth appearance trying to find out who actually fathered her baby is just sad!
Let’s all walk away from the Jerry Springer show. Seriously, do you want to know about the dwarf transsexual confederate flag holding republican who fantasizes about a relationship with his brother?
Daytime+Television=DEAD BRAIN CELLS
GO TO EVEREST COLLEGE INSTEAD LOL