You + Who?

During a relationship discussion about finding your soul mate, a friend said that I may be just a bit pessimistic. I would not call myself a pessimist. I tend to look at the world through bi-focal rose/gray tinted glasses, a mixture of cheery hopefulness and stark reality.

Cheery Hopefulness- ‘There is someone for everyone’

Stark Reality- ‘Meh, maybe not’

When I was twenty-something I was full of cheery hopefulness and believed there truly was someone for everyone. It’s romantic to think that there is someone out in the world who is your soul mate. I’ve said this line to many girl/guy friends and it’s been said to me as well but is it true?  Twenty-something years later I just don’t it is.

Stark reality-Maybe not everyone. I have many friends who have never married, never been in substantial happy relationships but they are all good people and desire to have that one cherry at the top. Is it pessimistic of me to say that 20+ years later it is not looking good for them especially when the majority of them are afraid to go outside their comfort zones?

Like the idea that just because a woman has a womb she automatically qualifies as a mother not everyone is going to find true lasting love for all time. You may search your whole life and never get married or be in a relationship longer than a few years.  It’s not pessimistic its just a reality. There could be many factors, external and internal but your life does not have to be sad because you have not met the one…no matter how badly people (knowingly or unknowingly) may make you feel because you are single. With or without a mate you still have to live and be happy.

It does you absolutely no good to think that while you sit in your apartment in Boston, New York, or Idaho that your soul mate could be thousands of miles away in Australia, Zimbabwe, or Paris. What sense does that make if you don’t travel to those places or this unknown person visits your local Starbucks regularly? That is not pessimistic it’s a reality. If you are fortunate to meet your soul mate he/she is more than likely the person who was always close by.

In your twenties you should wear that cheery hopefulness like armor, there is no reason not to the world is yours to pave. In your thirties and forties, however, there should be some things you face a bit more realistically but that does not mean you lay down quietly and let your paved road end. Enjoy whatever/whomever you have in your life be happy and if you want to tell me to ‘STFU you’re just being a pessimist’ then by all means have at it 🙂


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