I heard a story the other day of a woman who recently had an abortion. She is married and already has four children. Her husband has not worked in over a year. They both feel they just cannot handle another addition to their family. Now, I know a woman who has been trying to have her own child for five years. She has suffered multiple miscarriages and now wants to adopt, however her husband does not and feels eventually a successful pregnancy will happen. How ideal would it be for the first woman to be able to carry her baby for the second? You know why it is not ideal? Because as much as we all hate abortion we put just as much a hate on a woman, a mature woman, who chooses to give her baby up for adoption.
I try not to think of any pregnancy as unwanted but let’s be real there are many children conceived in less than ideal situations and simply not wanted. Despite all the prevention arguments and the God’s gift rhetoric we all know ish happens. Why any group would try to block birth control is a brain below stupid but that is another debate for another day…probably tomorrow the way things are going. My concern is do we push adoption enough?
This is not a debate about abortion just a question I’ve been sincerely thinking about since the Komen debacle.
Birth control literatures inform teenage girls that adoption is an option but depending on her cultural background it may not be even considered. She is dealing with the shame of a teenage pregnancy, her parent’s anguish, and the opinions of her peers. She may only hear about adoption when she seeks to terminate her pregnancy but what if the option of adoption is encouraged by her family and friends, no judgment attached?
If I were to get pregnant tomorrow and told my family, friends, co-workers that at the end of the nine months I was going to give the baby up for adoption, you know what I’d get? Judgment. Maybe not from everyone but there would be a lot of questions and a lot of dialogue behind my back. I doubt anyone would come right out and accuse me of being selfish but the sentiment would linger in the air. You have a good job, you own your own home, it’s not like you are a teenager blah blah blah… Why wouldn’t I want to make the best of a bad situation and keep my child? A child is God’s blessing and who turns their back on God’s blessing?
How accepting are we of a woman who gives up her baby for adoption? People who scream about abortion and stopping birth control don’t really encourage adoption. It’s is said offhandedly for an argument but is it really encouraged?