Today I was one of the many who watched Whitney Houston’s funeral. It was beautiful and I cannot think of a more appropriate place to have her going home service than the church she grew up. Even though the church was filled with celebrities it still felt like a personal service for family and close friends. I thank the Houston family for allowing me to share in that wonderful service…in my own home.
I cried throughout as I listened to her friends, colleagues and family members relate their stories. Each speaker recalled the impact religion had on her life, it was all so touching. By the end I kept thinking for all her declarations of faith why was her heart and soul not at peace? All these years I’m sure she was praying and begging her Lord to give her peace but where was it? Why was she so lost?
I know the lost feeling she probably felt as she prayed, begging, for whatever it was she needed to make her soul whole. The loss we feel when, for whatever reason, we stray from the path we were born on, the path our parents guided us on as children, and the path we try to take root on as adults…but we can’t quite stay planted. I know that feeling and I know those prayers that brought me back to the path many times…as Whitney probably did. I did find solace. I never had to look for it in anything or anyone only myself. He gave me that.
It breaks my heart feeling like she didn’t find it. It seemed till the end she was still searching. Maybe her Lord answered her prayers, maybe there was more she had to do on her own to get the solace she sought. Maybe, maybe, maybe…