On Sex: Stop Hoe Shaming

When I was in high school every argument with a guy would would be won hands down if he called you a hoe. Didn’t matter if it were true the shame was real and any verbal assault you unleased, no matter how blistering would be forgotten with that one single word. I hate that word although through the years I have used it to distinguish myself from raggedy hoes who were an affront to my sense of purity. At sixteen, I definitely was hot in the ass but I was too damn scared to go all the way because if a boy called me a hoe and my friends found out about it…oh the damn horror so I kept my pants up.

Hoes and Casual sex.

The Urban Dictionary describes a hoe as someone loose in the booty or promiscuous. So does a one night stand make a woman a hoe? I don’t think so. Some women are okay with casual sex when they need that release. I’m ok with a grown ass woman doing her thing as long  as its not with my man or other friends men. Casual sex is not  for me at all because I love and crave intimacy. If a man got up to go right after sex it would probably hit the psycho button on the right side of my brain. For years I was offended by the thought and behaviour of anyone who did this but I just don’t care anymore.

one night stand

We waste too much time and energy shaming women about sex. I know I wasted too many years siding with men on who they said were hoes when it really is those mothertruckers who are the real hoes.

Now, I understand the whole women should have a level of moral integrity bigger than a man but isn’t that between her and her spiritual self? Why do I have to get involved in that kind of preaching because hoes have been around FOREVERRRRRRR!

I think the word hoe should be banished from our vocabulary. I’m even tired of typing it. It’s a hateful word intent to bring a woman down to her lowest mental breaking point. There are women who use sex as a serious cry for help and using that word is not going to help solve the problem. Then there are women who enjoy the physical side of a relationship without the emotional attachment…(I don’t know about that FWB thing but some people say it works. I don’t believe it tho). Since men don’t feel shame about sex no woman in 2015 should either. As long as she is a grown ass woman, using protection, and mentally equipped let her do her.

This post is dedicated to my friend who hates hoes and does not understand why I’m friends with a certain someone. Mainly because she is cool AF and you worry too much about other peoples business. SHADE



6 thoughts on “On Sex: Stop Hoe Shaming

  1. I agree with your saying. I live in St. Louis, and the communities are small and people tend to take on this mob mantaility. I couldnt really figure our what was going on but now I think I may have a clue. I happen to be what you may call lets say I have a lot of men friends.

    People that work in the stores by where I live are rude and extremely disrespectful tward me. Its gotten slightly better since they can only keep it up for so long and Ive been living here for almost 6 years now . But there are the ones that still act like they hate me. I didnt know why these people were acting this way but when I think about it now , I think this may be the reason.

    The only thing is I know I can not be the only woman in this area who has a lot of men
    I dont see them treat anyone else this way but me though. So am I that big of a hoe that they have to be especailly rude to me. I make it a point not to dress inappropriatly so its not like people who dont know me would talk about me not at all as a matter of fact I dress just the opposite of a woman people would call a hoe, I do it on purpose. But Im still disrespected.
    And its really silly because there are far too many other things in life to occupy your mind with than what one person chooses to do. If the woman is an adult and is a consenting adult to sex , and the woman is not being forced to do something that they dont want to do than really what does it have to do with anyone else

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I visit St. Louis often, I have family there, so YES, I know about the mentality and the small town feel but trust IT’S EVERYWHERE.
      Thank you for your honesty. I don’t understand why grown people feel the need to police other grown peoples sexual activities…especially if they are getting theirs.
      You are probably never going to win over those judgmental folks…My advice is just be careful of the crazies, take care of yourself, and be happy. Happiness kills other folks. If you keep wanting their approval they will continue to give it to you…all negative but start showing them how happy you are with you they’ll drop off sooner or later.
      As long as you are not letting married men con you into affairs then there really should be no reason for the hate from the whole community.


  2. I just now read your reply, and no I dont mess with married men, But I do thank you for the advice. I notice that these people I mentioned do seem to feed off getting me down and in turn when Im upbeat and things are going well , they back off but I can tell they hate that, but at the same time back down. So I think your advice is correct, and I will take it.

    Liked by 1 person

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