About six years ago I set up a profile with Match.com and within minutes had about ten men inboxing me telling me they loved my smile. The initial email was fine but it was clear only one or two read my profile. I responded to all even though more than a few skeeved me out. I was nice because I felt if someone took the time to say hello I should at least say hello back and drop the bomb I wasn’t interested, kinda face to face. A few were shirtless which is such a turn off to me. I wonder if men know this because I have read in countless women’s magazines and polls that we are not impressed by these shirtless pictures. Obviously, these tips need to be put in magazines for men and not women.
A few I could tell were just looking for a hookup and they skeeved me out.
I deleted my profile within two hours of signing on, I wasn’t that desperate.
Fast Forward to 2015 and I’m still single. I’m forty-seven and I might be feeling like a real committed relationship may not happen for me again. I’m not feeling desperate but I am so I let my girlfriend talk me into trying Tinder and Match.com.
I swiped the hell out of Tinder not interested in anyone. In a perfect world I would be dating someone with Idris Elba looks but from the looks of my Tinder Idris obviously was not in my lane because…DAMN! What was popping up for me were the shirtless guys, the old white guys, and the guys who really made me question whether or not I’m even attractive enough to be in the same lane as a broke Kevin Hart (because we know money can get you in a new lane where looks don’t count-Looking at your ugly ass Donald Trump)
After a week of checking back and forth I there were only three men who seemed even remotely interesting . They were not great looking but a witty email gets you a response. One guy, although, honestly not physically attractive was very funny and seemed to have a great sense of humor. After emailing back and forth he asked me out for drinks and I accepted. I was really up for it…and then I wasn’t. He emailed me everyday and when I didn’t respond right away he would ask why.
Him: “Hellooooo are you that busy?”
‘After a week of this I was simply pissed off by his ‘neediness’ or whatever the hell it was. I haven’t even met him and he was wondering about my time. #byeFelicia and goodbye Tinder.
Match.com was no better if not worse than Tinder. The marketing wants you to believe that Match is a site to meet your soulmate but my experience, and I honestly my patience is really short with this stuff, the men in my dating range were so over that soulmate stuff.
Again, in my perfect world I would like to be dating Idris Elba, maybe if I say that outloud enough to the universe it could happen. I think I tried harder with Match than I did with Tinder because there were so many men on the site. I wanted my profile to be a clear reflection of myself without being too corny or coming off prudish.
Creating a profile for anything is the most painful process in the world because in essence you are selling yourself. Whether the profile is for Linkdin, a dating site, or even for your blog, trying to get people to believe you are interesting in a hundred words or less is stressful.
I thought I pulled it off. I tried to keep it light. I mentioned my interests, my political affiliations,my playfulness, and I even mentioned how important the #blacklivesmatter movement was to me…I tried to be clear, very clear on the woman I am. FAIL
Sure, I got a lot of responses. None were what I was looking for. I have dated interracially many times but to be honest I don’t know if I can anymore so when my inbox filled up with white republican males I was like WTF???? Seriously, WTF? There is no way they read my profile.
I was not looking solely for a black man but it would have been nice to have one in my inbox.
I strolled through the site and I saw black men but to be honest, none were appealing to me and I guess I wasn’t appealing to them. I dropped Match after two weeks. Wasted $36 bucks when I could have bought dinner and been more satisfied.
I’m not saying don’t give these sites a try and I would love to hear other experiences even though for me it has been a fail. A co-worker said her sister met her boyfriend on Match and they were together for fifteen years, till he passed away. He seemed like a great guy and its a wonderful story. I wish I had a wonderful story to tell as well but for now I’m still single.