On BullShit: Tiny House Nation

As a country we go from one stupid extreme fad to another and now it’s all about tiny houses. Are you kidding me America? Tiny houses? Little itty bitty tiny houses with tiny little bathrooms, kitchens so tiny they can fit in half a closet, living room half the size of the smallest bedroom in my house.Mega Mansions were outrageously popular ten years ago and now we just skipped right over medium to go to tiny living. SMDH.

Don’t the long angle view fool you THIS IS IT

Now, if it was just one person moving into these Alice in Wonderland house replicas I might be all for it.I could actually see myself in one for few months, what a great little writing retreat at some Maine lake. But  I haven’t seen many single people buying into these things on the show, I see newly wed couples dishing out 50-80k for one of these little divorce makers. There simply is not enough room for the best of friends to live in one of these 365 days a week talk less of a married couple. God forbid there is a week long snow or rain storm, somebody is getting axed a’la Jason Voorhies style! Having been married I know that men and women need space. Sometimes you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed and you just don’t want to deal with anyone. You have to deal in a tiny home. Seriously, ladies can you imagine the first period in a tiny house with cramps and all you want to do is lye on the couch with a heating pad and watch Law & Order SVU for nine hours? Nope you can’t lie on the couch because all there is are two well padded arm chairs you thought were so cute a month ago. Not to mention hubby might want to watch Top Gear because it’s Saturday and it’s his favorite show. Somebody will have to leave. God forbid you have a migraine That truly sucks.

Good luck smelling every body odor of your partner and hearing every sound the body expulses. But they’re newlyweds and still have stars in their eyes, I guess, so I expect them to be a little cottonheaded but grown ass adult with children?

I actually feel sorry for these kids

I have three children, grown now, and I live in a relatively small house of four bedrooms, two floors, and a full walk-in basement. Please don’t ask me about square feet because I forgot about that after about the tenth mortgage payment but it’s far from a mansion. Each child was able to have their own space and most importantly I had my own space where I could shut the door and unwind a little. Now if there was nothing left on the planet to house myself and my three children but a Tiny House I would be packing my bags with a grin on my face and a thank you God prayer. I would be grateful to have it. But seeing how a Tiny House is not the only sheltered place on the planet I don’t understand how two grown ass adult would move their children into one of these things. Maybe, I don’t like my children as much as they do to be that damn close but it seems like the most ludicrous thing a parent can do to their children. I can’t think of anything worse except jail. It would be like moving my family into a jail cell and oooo-ing and ahhhhhing over one fucking window that brings in so much light. I expect more common sense from grown ass adults.

Now don’t get me wrong these tiny houses are freaking adorable. Even the interiors are awesome to look at with their loft beds that a couple would have to climb up to every night to sleep or whatever….but who wants to climb a ladder every night like in camp every night? I’m sorry the idea of these homes are just stupid. Cute but still stupid.

If they were transitional homes for the poor they would be great but it’s not the poor looking into these things its affluent couples and families….sit on that for awhile because I’m still trying to understand. Like I said one extreme fad to another. Total bullshit.

This would be wonderful for a writing retreat. Just me, my thoughts, and a wi-fi connected laptop.